Saturday, May 15, 2010

A Tribute to My Loved Ones... (My Pledge - NFC 2010)

I was browsing nuffie's webbie updates when the Singapore Family Pledge Campaign caught my curiosity...

Nuffnang and National Family Celebrations 2010 presents Bloggers Family Pledge Movement

I have heard of the NFC Campaign before, but never one time had I enquire more about it. I do not know what happened either, but the sudden curiosity to find out more lead me to clicking the link to NFC's website. After a little reading of the campaign's efforts, I decided that it was what I had longed for after all;

I made a pledge to my family...

"I pledge to educate my parents & esp. my brother the true meaning of "FAMILY" just the way they educated me the meaning of LIFE & LOVE when I was young. Shower them with the WARMTH & LOVE which they never had in the past; the bonding which they longed, the true meaning of "To Forgive & Forget; being selfless; filial piety & spending precious bonding moments together ~ Blood is thicker than water."

I could say very honestly that it was not because of the free tickets which the organizers are offering which had lead me to the writing of this post. I am also puzzled with my actions, but every action has a meaning behind it - as for mine, I had made the pledge because of what I went through, and the meaning of "FAMILY" is really deep in my heart.

I could still remember when I was a little kid, my family had used to be the kind of "3-generation" family. My grandparents (dad's mum and dad), my uncle and his wife, mummy and my little brother cramped under one roof of a 3-room flat in the commonwealth area. It had not been the kind of  "lovely" living environment like those big big houses whereby the generations lived together but uncle and aunt were waiting for their application of flat in hougang, and therefore, squeezed themselves alongside us.

As all might have known, a 3-room flat consist of only 2-bedrooms and a living room, thus like all would have imagined, uncle and aunt occupied one bedroom, while the other bedroom was shared with my parents, little brother and myself. The living room was where my grandparents lived in, our house only consist of simple furniture and mattresses are seen on a daily basis at night time.

Despite so, living with my relatives and grandparents was a great challenge as mother need to tender to not only our needs, but too - to serve my relatives and grandparents, and thus, I was very independent when I was little, too filial piety was always on the top of my list.

Even as kids, we had lived in poverty, not because that my parents could not support; or rather so, it was because dad had been a possessive gambler. He worked as a taxi driver and his hours were irregular. I could only remembered vaguely that he returned home during the wee hours of the night - frequently bringing us along to the coffee shop. Since his parents - whom are my grandparents were around, dad only provided mum with daily "pocket money" - enough to buy groceries and daily necessities. Most other stuff were usually contributed by either my grandparents or my uncle (since he and his wife did not pay any rental). 


We do not question where dad goes - since as a taxi driver, they need to travel around Singapore in order to make a living. After all to us, dad was the sole-bread-winner of the family. However I could still recall since I was Primary 1, dad would often return home early on friday/saturday and sunday evenings. He would either look very grumpy or very excited. His mood often varied extreme. Either he would excitedly bring the whole family out for dinner and buy each of me and brother a little something, or he would scream his head off at mum. Whenever we asked mum quietly what happened, she would always replied "nothing" and asked us to be "guai guai". Dad's gambling habits went on continuously and it was not long after he decided to rent his cab out to a relief driver in the afternoons in order to allow ample time to gamble.

Not long after my grandparents' death and after uncle and aunt shifted out, dad decided to sell off our 3-room flat. During the early 90s, the property market was "so-called" good since commonwealth was situated near to town and dad was psycho-ed to sell the flat off to "make money". Me and brother were still in primary school at that time, and the reason dad gave was to allow us to have our own bedrooms!! As me and brother were still young, how could we foresee anything to go wrong in the near future?! After all, we were really excited after all the years of cramming around, we finally get to have our own rooms!! 

We shifted to the westside - jurong area and that was when our nightmare began. Since we shifted into the new flat (a 4-room one), dad possessive gambling habits worsen. His stakes grew higher and he loitered more often  at longer hours in the turf club. During my secondary school days, monthly "red-colored" bill payments are a common sight - even with our school fees. Most payments were delayed and at the end of our first year stay in the new flat - mum decided to come out to the society and work. She worked at a factory - fixing electronic chips to motherboards. Her salary was barely enough to cover the household bill payments, our fees and our pocket money. Dad still provided us some money then, but it was barely enough for our daily needs. Many stuff happened but I really could not bare to write them all in details - as it might have been too long to be accumulated into an autobiography book.

I could only mentioned that I took my O'levels when I was seventeen, doing night classes at ITE. It was not that I have bad grades, but my family had been too poor to study. I still remembered that when I wanted to start studying my O'levels, dad just reprimanded me for not helping out with the family - "stating that as a girl, why was there the need for me to study so much?! and I should have gone to work to help out with the bills instead. I really hated the traditional way of chinese thinking - the way they procrastinate against daughters and sons were the ones to have everything (like my brother did!)

Needless to say, I persevered on, with 8 credits and managed to make my path to Polytechnic. During my poly days, the bills got heavier - because what dad had earned was all splurged on his possessive gambling debts, and what mum earned could only sustained for our living necessities and my brother's unnecessary demands. It was then when I know the meaning of life that I learnt that after the 3-room flat was being sold, dad took up super high loan from the HDB and even the amount he received after the sale of the flat that he used it up to sustain his fucking gambling habit! For the past years living in the new flat, we had accumulate over 16 months of hdb payment (and sadly to mention that the amount was just to pay off the interest!)
I am really grateful to cousin "Kiat" for loaning me my polytechnic school fees - apart from the other bursaries given by Singapore Polytechnic. Since I was not really bright, I do not have the chance to take up scholarships, and the subsidies were only given as mum went to see the MP of our area. I worked part time daily at a pub after school hours - to earn pocket money and to help out the household bills. However, the hatred for dad's gambling behavior became stronger and my parents' "bias" actions against daughter turned me to being more selfish and to fend for myself more. 

But as time goes by, after the teenage years and school life when I finally came out to the society to work, my thoughts changed. I understood very clearly that if the HDB debts were to be accumulated, it would come to a day whereby officials would seal up our flat and drive us out. I do not wish to be homeless, so I took up the courage and stepped in to help (till now). It is really very tedious, but after all these years of hardship, everybody changed. Dad and Mum's bonding seemed no longer that close as before (when we were young), and brother grew up to be a very selfish spoilt brat - till now, did not help out a little with the household, instead, always reprimanding "what a bad life he had been through...". Honestly, dad did change for the better and his gambling habits have stopped. 

I really wished that now, I can really educate my parents the bonding we had in the past - because without them, I supposed that we will not be still alive till today. I really want to share with them the warmth of FAMILY, despite our family not the usual family like others, but tell them how much I love them, how much I really want to spend time with them! Since now everybody are busy working daily - to play a part in helping our family to stay together, I really pray and hope that everyone can just forgive and forget what we have gone through. I pledge to give them the best of what I can do - to provide them with a comfortable living environment and let them savor life (as mummy and daddy are not young anymore). I really wish that brother will also grow to be more responsible in everything, instead of a childish brat...
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I am sure my past is not the worse, and there might be others who are worse than mine. As I end my post here, I believe that you others out there might want to do the same - giving your pledge of what you would like to do for your family. Therefore, just follow the link below:


NATIONAL FAMILY CELEBRATIONS 2010 (NFC 2010)
Organised by the National Family Council, National Family Celebrations is an annual event which celebrates and reinforces the importance of families and family life. This year,Singaporeans are encouraged to make a personal commitment to their families by being a part of the Singapore Family Pledge Movement.
To provide opportunities for Singaporeans to follow through on the pledges to their families, there are a myriad of activities under the NFC 2010 calendar – which will interest the young, the old, and everyone in between! NFC 2010 will be held from 25 May to 26 June 2010, and this year marks the 25th Anniversary of the celebrations. For more information on NFC 2010, visit www.nfc.sg.


Whether what you had been through is tougher or better than me, 
realise how precious your family is to you. 
Make your promise and pledge now!!

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